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☆ㅤHello Hello Hello!!ㅤ☆
I'm Soldier, but I tend to go by DespOIcito or jOIster in terms of account-y stuff.
Blue Text is for highlights/emphasis. Pink Text is for links!
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I don't really have a DNI or BYI, but I will say I'm a radinclus and support all identities I believe are good-faith and do not cause harm to others. Yes, that's very vague, but if you need something more concrete feel free to ask me!
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I fear my carrd holds permanent WIP status as I'm a wicked procrastinator at updating this thing in a timely manner... I WILL GET THERE TRUST ME
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☆ㅤAbout Meㅤ☆
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Hallo! I'm Soldier, a 21 year old from the UK. I'm autistic and very queer. The brief TL;DR is that I'm ace, heteroflexible, cis, genderqueer, xenic, and a woman. I use any pronouns with a neopronoun preference.Despite being terrible with social interactions and extremely shy, I'm actually very extroverted and LOVE talking to people!! If you have any interests in common with my hyperfixations or special interests I'm sure we'll get on great! Emphasis on hyperfixations because I am Not Normal about TF2 and I will implode if I find someone to play it with me. Double implode if you enjoy MVM and we double queue Boot Camp together... (/mostly joking but also please play MVM with me I'd be so happy)I make terms and flags sometimes. I wanna start making little MVM infographic-type guides to make reading more fun and hopefully teach some beginners to stop making very basic mistakes if they insist on queueing Advanced difficulty for their first match. (I'm a little bitter but I promise I'm not a toxic high-tour!!)
I'm also involved in some TF2 Roleplay circles on Tumblr. It's a lot of fun and I've made great friends through it :)I'm not really sure what else to say about me tbh. My taste in music is all over the place, but my favourites right now are Jack Stauber, Femtanyl, Videogame OSTs and Fanmade Rap Battles (ERB but better. No shade to ERB I just enjoy fan stuff more). I'm a beginner artist with a focus on digital art and SFM. I do post them on Discord and Tumblr! ...Sometimes.I'm also in a relationship! My partner is the best :) I don't like talking about irl stuff too much online but he's the sweetest and I'll always enjoy talking about it :)
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I'm also mentally ill. Like very. I'm diagnosed with autism but I'm seeking a diagnosis for BPD and/or DPD and/or OCD and/or PTSD and/or... you get the picture HSHSHSHSHSHSH. Something ain't right upstairs but I promise I'm so fun and swag
☆ㅤLabelsㅤ☆
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I use a lot of labels. Autism loves labelling things!!
I'm gonna list all the terms I'm comfortable using in order of sexuality, gender, pronouns, and other miscellaneous labels. They'll also sorted alphabetically because it's "neater" that way I think :)
I'm aware some terms have very similar definitions (e.g. "asexual" and "asexual spectrum" are both listed for my sexuality). This usually means I'm comfortable using either term to describe my orientation.
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This page is still a WIP, so I won't have every label, definition, etc. on it yet. Sorry!
ㅤ☆ㅤSexualityㅤ☆
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☆ Aromantic Spectrum - A person who is not alloromantic; someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction or only feels romantic attraction in certain circumstances.
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☆ Asexual - A person who experiences little to no sexual attraction.
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☆ Asexual Spectrum - A person who is not allosexual; someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction or only feels sexual attraction in certain circumstances.
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☆ Delloaesthetic - Demiaesthetic attraction to some genders and alloaesthetic attraction to other genders. In my case, I'm alloaesthetic towards feminine and androgynous presentation, but demiaesthetic towards men.
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☆ Demisexual - A person who is asexual until they have a strong emotional bond with someone. This can often take needing to know a person for weeks, months, or years before attraction is felt.
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☆ Demiromantic - A person who is aromantic until they have a strong emotional bond with someone. This can often take needing to know a person for weeks, months, or years before attraction is felt.
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☆ Heteroflexible - A person who is mostly heterosexual, but can rarely experience attraction to same/similar genders.
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☆ Heterosexual - A person who is attracted to genders other than their own or dissimilar genders.
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☆ Multisexual Spectrum - Any orientation which involves attraction to two or more genders. Mostly interchangeable with "bisexual umbrella".
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☆ Omniplatonic - Experiences platonic attraction to all genders, but gender is a factor in attraction. For me, I tend to experience platonic attraction to men more often.
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☆ Unisexual - Experiences attraction to one person and only one person for advanced periods of time.
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☆ㅤGenderㅤ☆
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☆ Autigender - A person whose gender can only be understood in the context of being autistic, or when a person's autism affects their gender/experiences with gender.
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☆ Cisgender - A person whose gender matches the one they were assigned at birth.
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☆ Concegender - A subset of genderfluid for when a person can't tell when their gender changes, so they have to concentrate on it to determine what it is/if it has changed.
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☆ Genderfluid - A person whose gender changes.
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☆ Gendersylphet - A subset of genderfluid to refer to only experiencing fem-aligned or xenic genders. Gendersylphet people never feel like either binary gender or male-aligned. However, they can experience being non-binary or being genderless.
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☆ Genderqueer - Any gender that is non-conformant; similar to non-binary.
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☆ Schrodigender - A gender that you can feel and not feel at the same time. (There are two definitions of Schrodigender, but I use that one)
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☆ Xenogender - A gender that can best be described through things not typically associated with gender (e.g. nouns, concepts or feelings).
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☆ㅤPronounsㅤ☆
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☆ Neopronouns - Pronouns outside of he/him, she/her, they/them and sometimes it/its (it/its sits in a "grey area" between neopronoun and non-neopronoun).
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☆ Panpronomial - A person who uses all pronouns. This includes both "standard" pronouns (he/she/they) and neopronouns.
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☆ㅤMiscellaneousㅤ☆
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☆ Autistic/ASD - Short for Autism Spectrum Disorder; a person who experiences deficits in communication, restricted/repetitive behaviours & interests and hyper- or hypo- reactivity to stimuli (sensory issues).☆ Borderline/BPD - Short for Borderline Personality Disorder; a person who experiences emotional instability, disturbed patterns of thinking, impulsive behaviours and unstable relationships.
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☆ LGBTQ+ - A community for those who do not conform in their sexuality, gender, etc. (those who aren't cis, hetero, allo, perisex, etc.).
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☆ Neurodivergent - A person whose brain is different from the norm (neurotypical); a person with a mental illness, disorder, etc.
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Because of good old neurodivergency, I have both hyperfixations and special interests!
And also just some Normal interests I have those too^^
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☆ㅤHyperfixationsㅤ☆
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☆ Team Fortress 2. I'm a Medic main in casual (learning Soldier) and a Scout main in MVM (but I can play all classes effectively except Sniper and Spy). I've never left Boot Camp but I've got several hundred hours in MVM by this point and over 100k robots killed. Hmu I'll carry
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☆ Twisted Wonderland..... I love you Sebek my stupid BPD son. He's my absolute favourite by a LONG SHOT but I do enjoy most of the cast.
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☆ Umamusume. Yeah, the horsie gacha got me. Sue me. #1 Nice Nature fan. I don't think I can claim #1 Digitan fan but she's my second fav for sure. So sillay
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☆ㅤSpecial Interestsㅤ☆
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☆ Undertale / Deltarune (the oldest one by far!)
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☆ Rhythm Heaven (RHYTHM HEAVEN GROOVE 2026 LETS GOOOO)
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☆ Tetris (PPT2 Switch player mainly)
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☆ Puyo Puyo (PPT2 Switch player mainly)
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☆ Animal Crossing (Truffles my beloved)
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☆ LGBTQ+ identities and labels (nervous glance at my little collection of terms)
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☆ Psychology, but especially neurodivergency and mental health related topics
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☆ TF2 lore and all that sorta thing. It's a hyperfix and a spin
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☆ Town of Salem (1 & 2), Among Us, Blood on the Clocktower, most social deduction games in general! Mafia-style games are my favourite but those three stand out for me
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☆ㅤCool things that are regular interests lmaoㅤ☆
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☆ Omori (game in general, but Basil's my favourite character)
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☆ Stardew Valley, Minecraft, Sky:COTL, other chill cosy games
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☆ LEGOOOOOOOOO I LOVE LEGO I LOVE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS
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☆ KinitoPET, DDLC, other psychological horror games involving self-aware characters. It's a fun trope okay
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☆ Don't Starve Together (Warly my beloved /p)
I think I just like playing support roles in games lmao
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The heading is "Boundaries" but it's more of a "these are important things to keep in mind if we are communicating at length". I have a few things that make my brain react weird and I think having an easy to reference list of those things is good and helpful and beneficial. They're not super likely to come up over like Tumblr or whatever but for regular Discord conversation and such I think it doesn't hurt to have!
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☆ㅤBoundariesㅤ☆
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☆ Please don't use /gentle or /not mad towards me!! They have the opposite effect when used towards me I fear.
If you really feel a need to clarify your tone then literal messages of "I meant that gently" or "that came across angrier than I intended" or whatever are all fine, my issue is only with those two tone tags.
,,,,,genq is on thin ice. it might get added here one day. sorry
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☆ I have a very intense phobia of bugs so I'm unlikely to engage positively with bug pictures or bug talk or anything like that. Unfortunately this also means I'll often talk about killing insects because I physically cannot coexist with them in my space. I'm sorry to all the bug fans </3 live your truth I will just cope and seethe/run away from the conversation
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☆ Definitely more of a Discord thing imo but if I'm venting or even just complaining, 99.9% of the time I do not want problem-solving responses or advice!!
Emotional support is preferred but you're always allowed to say nothing/just give reactions to my messages! I just don't handle practical solutions well while I'm upset unless I specifically ask for them or I'm asked if I want to hear them. I recognise it can be a lot to ask for which is why I'm emphasising that I do not mind receiving no response at all.
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☆ Similar to above, please avoid dry texting me! It sets off my BPD really bad and very easily triggers splits. Generic filler responses or just repeating back the last thing I said make me feel like you're disinterested/the things I'm talking about aren't "worthy" of real responses. I again want to emphasise it's always okay to say nothing to me instead if you can't properly engage. I'd prefer it!
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☆ Sometimes I appear to go AWOL and ignore everyone for a few days. I just ask for patience, I am always aware it's an unideal behaviour but it's part of how I manage bad BPD days where I don't feel safe to interact with people. Disappearing suddenly is the lesser of two evils.
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☆ If I've done something wrong or if criticism needs to be given to me about my behaviour, I only ask that you please warn me first that you're about to say something that may hurt my feelings. This is only to ensure that I'm in a good headspace to properly listen to you and take your feedback on board. Criticism requires me to mentally prepare for it in advance, meaning I may not respond in the best way if I'm not actively readied up to hear it. I don't want to create a situation where my feelings have to be coddled or prioritised which is why I only ask for a clarifier about what your message[s] will contain.
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☆ I really appreciate talk about alcohol being warned for or spoiler tagged! Similarly please never tell me if you specifically have been drinking or are drunk. Not speaking to me at all if you've been drinking is ideal but either way just don't tell me about it please!
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☆ㅤLooking for my terms?ㅤ☆
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Due to carrd's element constraints and this page growing much longer than I expected, I've now moved my list of coined terms and flags to this Rentry page!
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For more in-depth information about my terms or flags I create, all labels going forward will be posted to my Tumblr, @joister-coining! I'll also do my best to keep the Rentry page updated as a backup option!
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If posting my terms elsewhere, please credit me as @DespOIcito or @joister! Thank you <3
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